So I've made two decisions.
1-) My life drawing session now are going to follow Kimon Nicolaides teaching.
2-) I will copy Miyazaki & Sargent's Watercolor, to understand more
color mixing and texturing. At least one per week.
I also realized that it's almost impossible to learn how to paint watching video of other painters. For one fact, their way are not mine, and the only way to learn is to discover my own. Actually painting is more something to be discovered rather than learned. Discovering how to forcefully express an idea with a visual phenomena.
Above all, this watercolor journey I started 2 years ago out of pleasure is now my main source of frustration and anxiety. Bringing back the fun will definitely help. I must break the vicious circle of painting under pressure because of my expectations. Must be zen to paint adequately, Maybe Yoga should be part of my art training!